D5 : The Art of Silence

I'm sick today, so this is not going to be a thing of beauty...

It's hard to meet your heart's desire when you're home sick all day. Perhaps if I were in the hospital instead? Oh well. I've had some wonderful people write me but I've been too dead to reply. I'm only posting this because I promised myself I'd do this daily until I found her.

Here's some information you may want to pass on to anyone whom you suspect may be my wife:

I'm 5'8" tall. I don't really care what your height is. If you're my height or taller and you ego can't take the shame of being over my head when you're in heels then I consider you a shallow person I'm happy not to know. I'm not a slave to common societal conventions. Love isn't about the things society thinks define us, it's about what's at the core of who we are. That said, I know that many of you have a very clear picture in your mind of who your soulmate to be is...



Here's a few things that will hopefully dissuade you from pursuing me:

I won't be done with my Ph.D. for at least a year. Even afterwards, I'm looking at several lean years while I earn the hours necessary for licensure. With the time it takes to get established in my profession, plus all the student loan debt I have acquired, I won't be in ANY position to responsibly raise children for AT LEAST 5 years, minimum. And I'm not even sure I want kids. Sure I enjoy spending time with my niece and nephew, but I don't think I NEED kids to be happy or feel fulfilled in life.

I don't own a home and won't be in an position to buy one for a long time.

I'm not religious, although I'm respectful and understanding to those who are. That's not to say I'm an atheist, but I'm not a fan of any organized religion.

Life is too short to waste on dating people that don't really have the beliefs and qualities that you really value. So don't be afraid to ask the hard questions early on in the process of getting to know people. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache by not letting yourself fall in love with people that you'll never truly mesh with.

So don't be afraid to be particular. You won't end up alone forever for wanting too much. Just make sure that what you're looking for in a man is based on his character as a human being, the principles he stands for, the morals that have shaped how he lives. Don't be shallow and waste your time chasing the 2.5 bedrooms and the white picket fence above the spirit that makes the man you love who he is.

Hopefully I've scared plenty off. God knows I don't want to waste your time pretending to be something I'm not just so we can get involved for a few months, get hurt and then have to start over with more wounds that we began with.



So, it's early but I'm going to see if I can't sleep this cold off...

Stay well, be positive and don't try to make something work with someone who really doesn't have the qualities you need to be happy. Love yourself enough to say no to love for the sake of comfort. We all need to feel loved, to be held and experience passion. But don't jump on the wrong ship because you're afraid it might be the last one!

Take care, drink plenty of fluids, get lots of rest and don't write me unless all of this really makes some kind of crazy sense to you...

Chances are, I'm probably NOT your type. But someone is. And he's waiting...